Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Woman and Thin Man to Open Comedy Club

Woman and Thin Man to Open Comedy Club
For Immediate Release

Earlier today Natalie Miller and her thin-but-healthy husband Nathan Hartswick announced that they have broken ground on the Vermont Comedy Club. The club is scheduled to open this fall in the Armory building on Main Street and Pine in downtown Burlington. 

The comedy community poured into the streets in celebration, and apparent relief that Miller and Hartswick had committed to putting up with them for another five to ten years. 

Despite the couples' humble beginnings in Vermont's Northeast Kingdom, bystanders were overheard remarking that, "they look pretty normal to me," and, "have you seen the woman one working at City Market? It just seems like I know her from somewhere."

After years of working together in close proximity, the couple claims to still have feelings for one another and no plans for divorce. "We're just honestly one of those infuriating couples that falls more in love over time and with every obstacle and challenge we face," said Miller. "She's right," added Hartswick, "as usual."

Not everyone is enthusiastic about a comedy club in Burlington. Coffee shop owners fear a downturn in revenue once the couple establishes their own office space and are no longer driven to local business to pound iced coffees and stress-eat scones. "Getting these two off the streets is just bad for business," said a barista who asked to remain anonymous. 

Now that construction is underway, some wonder what is next for the couple. A bamboo bicycle factory in the Moran Plant? A sensory depravation chamber in  the old Herrouet Theater? "As a small business startup in Vermont, for now we're just celebrating the progression of this one, simple, well-thought-out and overly researched project," said Hartswick. 

Comedy fans can find further information, and upcoming performances at www.vermontcomedyclub.com.